Saturday 24 October 2015

#DivorceDiaries, Episode 9 Saturday 24th October

My name is Umar Aliyu I am 40 years old and I am a custom officer working in Port Harcourt and I would like to share my divorcediaries with you.
I was married to Rahama Aminu from Funtua for almost 2 years. It was a very normal and short courtship. I met her when I was 37 and I had already become what ladies call tuzuru or expired bachelor. Rahama was already a graduate when I met her, she was a graduate of education from UDUS, She was about rounding up her service year.I met her at an eatery ,She was good looking good and polite. It was a short courtship gaskia because I wanted to get married right away.

About 6 months after we met we got married and I spared no expense to give my bride the wedding of her dreams. She was the envy of all. Rahama moved into my new house in gwarimpa. We agreed that I would visit Abuja twice a month from PH. We went to Zanzibar and South Africa for our honeymoon and I was amazed to see how everything was new to my bride. After the honeymoon I went back to work in PH and I went back to my dirty old habits. You see, an dade a bariki so I had my lover hajiya Lantana in PH. She always kept my nights warm and interesting. Now that I was married I didn’t know how to balance seeing hajiya lantana and being a faithful husband.
Hajiya lantana was a considerable older woman and she had a lot of experience in handling a man and I couldn’t resist her. As the months rolled by I began to dread my trips to Abuja.I had to show rahama everything,she didn’t know me like HL did. Looking back now I should have shelved my ego and taken the time to educate my new bride to my needs and pleasure, I didn’t do anything. Naturally I began to lose interest in intimacy with my wife. Worse,I started comparing  them in every aspect ,I was such a fool. As I was busy comparing these women Rahama informed me she was pregnant, I wasn’t particularly elated.
On my next trip to Abuja I told my wife i wanted her to move to katsina .I lied to her that I’v been transferred to Sokoto. She protested  at first, saying she wanted to be in Sokoto but I put my foot down and told her to park to KT.I was tired of lying to HL about my various trips to Abuja so I decided the best thing is to isolate Rahama and so for the rest of the pregnancy I became unresponsive to my wife and I reduced my trips back home to once a month. The truth is I just wanted to get rid of her but I didn’t know how. I couldn’t divorce her because she had been and understanding wife. I stopped  calling Rahama and kept on hoping she would be frustrated and ask for a divorce. Meanwhile I asked hajiya Lantana for her hand in marriege but she told me she was not going to marry me. She said I was a weak man who couldn’t control his desires, even though her comment hurt me I just couldn’t stay away from her. She mesmerized me more and more everyday. Ni da ita mun dade a bariki ba za mu iya rabuwa ba.
I bought a house for HL just to prove myself to her, while I was busy enjoying life in PH my wife was in labour.I got a call from my mother that Rahama had a baby boy, so I had to go to KT for the naming ceremony .When I got there I realized that Rahama had changed, she wasn’t the shy obedient girl anymore.She was angry and bitter towards me and she gave me an ultimatum to move her to sokoto or else…Wallahi for some minutes I had forgotten I had lied to her about Sokoto but I refused her ultimatum,I told her she had to do what I wanted. Ni na auro ta ko ita ta aureni? She had to obey me, she must stay in katsina and that’s that!
My son was named Abdulmalik, As usual I spared no expense. I knew the money will appease Rahama. I was right,she never mentioned it again she thanked me and prayed for me. My mind was back in PH ,I was itching to go back to PH to hajiya Lantana waiting arms..I was also promoted at work ,more money,more fun..until it came crashing down.
3 months later I got a call from my mother .She asked me to come home she wanted to see me urgently.I told her I was busy at work.she said she was worried about me,What happened to her son?I told her nothing was wrong.she asked me about my family,why hadn’t I visited them in 3 month,why was I abandoning my wife and son?i just kept on tellibg my mother that I was busy,it came with the new rank I said.She told me to divorce rahama if I didn’t want to rot or burn in hell.ta ce duk wanda ya ci amana sai amanita ci shi.I told her I would think about it,I asked her to send Rahama’s no because I didn’t Have it anymore. I went home and discussed with HL .She said I should divorce Rahama it was the best thing to do so I divorced her. That’s when everything turned upside down,an audit was commissioned for my department and I was found culpable of embezzlement. After much begging and pleading  I was allowed to go. I lost my job and I didn’t get any benefits or gratuity, not a kobo. That’s was 4 years ago, now I live in hajiya lantana’s  house like a house boy,and to think that I bought this house, she treats me with disdain. I believe I was charmed  or jazzed by this evil woman who destroyed my home and my life. I’m broke, I’m poor and I am tied to this upscale prostitute’s waist. I have become the laughing stock among my friends and relatives. Rahama has taken me to court over providing for Abdul. she refused to believe I am managing in PH.
Sometimes I wish I could turn back the hands of time, I would have stayed committed to my family instead of following my carnal desires. I can’t even go back to Katsina anymore because my parents want nothing to do with me. I’m stuck here cleaning and cooking for HL and her latest boyfriends. I have been reduced to a servant in my own house. As you have read my story, I solicit for your prayers so I can break from this bondage. Add 08066680993 on whatsapp for update on next Episode
Credits to Jaruma Magazine Editor Fadimatu Zahra @jarumamagazine
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