Saturday 27 February 2016

Divorce Diary Season 2 Episode XII


MY NAME IS YUSUF KABUGA.I AM FROM KANO STATE.I AM A GRADUATE OF ECONOMICS. I AM A TRADER BY PROFESSION. I AM 28YEARS OLD. I WAS MARRIED TO MY WIFE SAMIRA FOR 7 MONTHS. I WOULD LIKE TO SHARE MY DIVORCE STORY WITH YOU.
I met my wife Samira Kassim at the Islamiyya my younger sister attended. I went to pick up my sister Jalila when I met her. Even in her hijab there was something that just pulled my gaze to hers. I couldn’t stop staring at her. She noticed I was staring and walked towards me while making funny faces. I was so embarrassed. I looked away to find Jalila laughing at me.
“Yaya stop doing long throat jor, let’s go home.Yarinyan nanis out of your league”
“How can she be out of my league? Is she not human?Matsa da Allah”
I couldn’t get her out of my mind for the rest of the week. I know a lot of people say that but I actually could not stop thinking about her all week. It was so interesting for me to wonder about her life.

I went back to pick Jalila after a week. It was more because I wanted to see the mystery girl but I waited and waited but there was no sign of her,I was disappointed. Jalila told me she knew the girl’s house and we drove straight there. That’s how our love story started. I saw her and spoke with her. She seemed interested in me and was smiling at me. I came back in the evening for properzanceand we had a good time.
As our relationship progressed, I noticed that Samira was very receptive on the days I showed up with gifts. Especially shawarma and chicken suya. Samira liked, no, she LOVED her shawarma and roasted chicken. That was the key to her heart. As long as there was shawarma and roasted chicken and ice cream, she was happy, I liked that about her. She wasn’t like the usual Kano girls who would pretend they didn’t want something when in fact they did. What our people referred to asAna so Ana kai kasuwa. I spent so much money on gifts for Samira and her parents, especially her mother. From suya to wrappers to foodstuffs to car repairs to groceries, you name it. My friends all thought that I was being milked. They said Samira was a materialistic girl and they called her all sorts of names. They said she had a reputation for being a leech and a gold digger.
Honestly I didn’t care. I knew some of them were jealous. In any case I believed with all my heart she would change her ways once she became my wife. I knew she would start living life on my own terms and there was no cause for alarm.
It wasn’t a surprise to me when I was invited to start seeing Samira in the house. Right Inside her father’s living room. Promotion!
When I met her father, I saw where Samira got her blunt nature from. After exchanging pleasantries he straight up instructed me to send my people to his meet him. He said I should send my people so that he could marry Samira off.
Even though I wasn’t really financially ready but my family were eager to get me married… they didn’t want me to look incompetent in my father-in law’s eyes. They were fully up to the task,and so Samira and I got a grand wedding. I couldn’t be happier,more so because I had proven Jalila wrong. I married the girl she insisted was out of my league.
About a month after our marriage, Samira and I started fighting like crazy. She wanted so much. I didn’t understand why. As a new bride she had enough kayan lefe to last her at least 2 years, so what was the demand for new clothes and laces for? I knew she was spoilt but I refused to indulge her. She had to change,she had to learn to live within my means. Simple.
The months dragged on and Samira showed no signs of improving her behaviour. One day I hosted a friend of mine for Dinner at my house. My friend was a federal lawmaker, Audu Yakima. The dinner was going on fine except for the blatant and disgraceful way my wife flirted with him. I was very very upset that night. But I remembered my mother’s advice to always be patient with my wife “Hakuri shi ne gishirin Aure”she always says so I restrained myself from scolding her.
Unknown to me, Audu had exchanged numbers with my wife. Their affair was in full swing. Several phone calls and secret visits later, Samira decided she wanted to leave. She confessed and asked me for a divorce.
I refused to divorce her even though she begged and threatened me, I stil REFUSED.
Why would I divorce my wife after just 6 months of marriage? What sort of Mumu did she think I was? So she took me to court. She asked the Alkali to dissolve the marriage because she was no longer interested. What pained me most is that Audu was there by her side throughout the court proceedings, he didn’t even have shame. Coming to court with my wife. She was staying in a hotelhe took her to ‘protect’ her from me! What nonsense!
Despite the Alkali and my parents’ efforts to reconcile us, this girl refused to see reason. Even her parents seemed to turn their back on me. Gently goading me to just give her a divorce so she would save me and my family the embarrassment of a court case. I couldn’t believe this people… what sort of family would support their daughter to end such a young marriage.
In the end, she was ordered to pay meKudin Kiyyaya(her dowry) and also reimburse some expenses which amounted to about 150 thousand Naira. Nothing hurt me more than Audu throwing 2 bundles of 1000 naira notes at me. Like I was a beggar,I wept that day in court. My heart was heavy and it was the saddest day of my life…I walked away and left the money there.
The lesson I learnt is that you cannot change a person just because you marry them. It doesn’t work. Stay with the people who aren’t greedy and selfish. Another very important lesson is that you should marry someone whose family resembles yours. Someone who shares your values and beliefs. Anything else is a recipe for disaster.
Thank you for reading my story. I hope and pray none of you makes my mistakes. God bless

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Special thanks to Fadimatu Zahra chief editor of jaruma Magazine

Note: Divorce diary is not own by insidearewa but rather its the property of jaruma magazine.




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1 comment:

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